It would be cheaper for me to buy a $3 bag of sand at my local Home Depot than to spend the 2 gallons of gas it would have taken me to get to the beach and back (I am a commuter) so I got my 50 lb bag of sand and went to working.
It was too hot outside, so I decided to throw some newspaper on the wood floor to do my project. We’ll find out how my roommates like this.
I imagined myself creating this pretty hand sculpture that I can paint and set on my dresser to be a jewelry holder. Boy, was I wrong! The sand started falling apart and the mold wasn’t what I was hoping it would be. When I took out my project, it looked a little scary.
This won’t sit on my night stand for decoration, but maybe it’ll be a decoration for a Halloween party.
Landscapes with a Corpse
Today I drowned.
There was underage drinking and a hot tub built into the ground. There were shoes and beer cans littering the floor, causing me to stumble. I stumbled too far, and too drunk, and tripped right over into the hot tub. I hit my head on concrete, knocking me unconscious, and took water into my lungs. No one was around, so no one could get to me in time.
Imagining my own death wasn’t as difficult as I though it would be. The project got difficult when my boyfriend was so offended by it and felt uncomfortable helping me. He told me to imagine his death, and I refused to let my mind go there.
Losing my own life wouldn’t hurt me; I wouldn’t know any better. However, losing the life of somebody close to me would take a chunk of life out of me. It would take away a familiar smile, embrace, and voice. It would take away a piece of my life with meaning, and I would be left with an empty space.
I am a familiar smile, embrace, and voice to many people. I contribute to the happiness of many people, like my parents, boyfriend, and best friend. Leaving them wouldn’t mean too much to me if I didn’t know it, but doing this project made me really think about the effect my death would have on others instead of just myself.